Thankful at Thanksgiving

On a bad day, it is easy to get hung up on the little things that don't work as well as I would like. I have to keep reminding myself that in the Big Picture, this adult program is working fabulously.
The supervising nurse visited on Saturday. She said V's blood pressure was 110/60. When the dental cleaning was done under general anesthesia 3 months ago, the nurse commented on how fast V's blood oxygen returned to normal. She was impressed. I see V's clothes fitting more loosely now than 6 months ago, in a good way, and I know that all of these things are the result of all the exercise that V is getting each day when she goes into the community. I see that she has a great appetite, and sleeps through the night. I see that she is smiling so much more now than a year ago and seems so much more peaceful. What more can a parent want than health and happiness for their child. I am thankful this week for the ability to see that V is well-fed with nutritious home-cooked food, well-cared for by dentists, nurses, therapists, doctors and support staff, and well-loved by her family. The behavior analyst commented on the dramatic improvement in V's quality of life over the past year during her most recent visit. V's support staff who have worked with her for the past 4 years commented recently on how much calmer and happier V is now than when she was in school. Ironically, I see more progress in skills and cooperation with therapists now than was ever reported within the structure of school.
Why is this the case? Why can our speech therapist get one hour of cooperative work with V now, when V would rarely work more than 15 minutes with a speech therapist at school? Is it because the work is now done in V's home and in the community? Is it because the current therapist has discovered what re-inforcers work or what activities V enjoys doing during sessions or just a good personality match? I don't know. Maybe the success is the result of all of these things working together.
What we know now, for sure, is that engaging in a power struggle with V does not work, but patience does. Demands do not work, but negotiation does. A rigid schedule does not work, but having flexibility does work. Pro-active anticipation of problems can prevent a lot of wasted time later spent resolving problems. When V is calm and happy, she learns and retains her knowledge and is able to show what she knows.
We have come a long way, but there is still lots of room for growth. I am thankful for the opportunity to be in the front row to witness these changes for the better and to be a part of them.