Visit this link to read the article today; http://www.disabilityscoop.com/2009/11/10/autism-moms-stress/6121/
This article says that a study of mothers with autistic children suffer from the same chronic stress levels as a combat soldier. Can you relate to that?
This article says that mothers of autistic adolescents and young adults are interrupted at work on average once out of every 4 days, as compared to once out of every 10 days for mothers of kids without disabilities. Well, I can easily see that one, for sure!
I recall one year when I taught at an elementary school and would receive frequent mid-day calls from V's school, asking me to come take her home because she had "thrown up". V wasn't sick when this happened, she was upset. Something at school would set off a tantrum. Crying would cause sinus drainage, that would set off coughing, that would set off her gag reflex and whatever was in her stomach would come up. When I took her home and missed work following these incidents, she would be fine the rest of the day. She had no virus, no fever, and no further incidents of stomach upset the rest of the day. I learned to ask the school nurse if her vomit had followed upon the heels of a tantrum, and if it had I asked them to allow her rest, change her clothes and then let her return to class if she had no further symptoms. I was a single mom, I had a job to do, and coming to take V home to play was reinforcing the behavior of vomiting after tantrums, a habit I did not want to encourage for obvious reasons. I received resistance to my request and pressure to come and take her home each time. I held firm, insisting that if she had no fever, no other symptoms of illness and no further stomach upset, there was no reason to take her out of school. The incidents declined in frequency and eventually were no longer a problem.
It is hard to be a reliable employee if you are a parent of a child, or dependent adult, with health or emotional problems. I eventually left my employment when the inability of support staff to get her on a school bus in the morning resulted in frequent morning calls to my school asking me to leave my classroom in the middle of teaching a lesson and come take V to school after the bus left without her. My daughter's demands on my time at work were unfair to my employer, my students, and caused me stress because of the conflict between meeting my daughter's needs and meeting my employer's needs.
As a result, I have sacrificed a good salary and benefits to be available to give my daughter the best possible care. Our level of debt is higher and savings are lower as a result. I only had the choice because I remarried. I don't know what I would have done without my husband's support. I think this is why many disabled adolescents end up in residential care instead of with their families. These are heartbreaking choices.
We are not alone with these dilemmas. These problems are receiving more attention now and, maybe will be followed by more support, eventually. I don't think that will happen until our economy has stabilized, and until then supports may actually be lost because of funding shortages. Hold on if you are struggling with these issues. Things get worse but then they do get better again.
